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Camp Croft, South Carolina
US Army Infantry Replacement Training Center

Taken from the an issue of the "31st Foxhole," a publication of the 31st ITB at Camp Croft.


THE following narrative was undoubtedly inspired by that memorable week spent on the rifle range. We don't say that the following happened; but we don't say that it did not happen. At any rate, perhaps you'll agree that it could have happened. We congratulate Pvt. Albert upon capturing some of the humor that exists in this Army life, even when hunger, cold, or boredom prevail. ED.

"That's ours."
"I don't think so."
"Sure it's ours"
"I don't see anything."
"I know you don't see anything but it's ours. It sounded like ours."
"Yeah. But I don't see anything."
"Let's take it down anyway."
"Yeah. But what if it isn't ours?"

"Then we'll just put it back."
"We can't do that."
"Why can't we?"
"Because we're told not to.  That's why."
"But it's a hit I tell you."
"Ya don't see it do ya?"
"No. But it's a hit."
"If it's a hit, they'll call us on the phone, and then we can take it down."
"No. You gotta show them you're on the ball. Let's take it down before they call."
"I'm against it."
"No.  I'm against it I said."
"Let's toss a coin to decide."

"Alright, damn it, toss your coin."

"Where is it?"

"I think it rolled under the bench."
"I can't find it .  Why did it go?"

"How the hell would I know?"
"Damn it. That was a quarter. I coulda bought five chocolate bars with that quarter."
"Tossing it was your own idea."
"Yes sir.  I'd like to have a chocolate bar right now. Two of them. Or a bowl of soup.  I'm starving to death."
"Don't you think about anything else but food."
"Yeah. How about that target?"
"God. I am getting sick of it. If you want to move it down, move it down."
"O.K. Grab hold of it then."
"Alright. Take it easy. Well, now that it's down, what about it?"
"I coulda sworn that was ours. Look it over carefully."

Joe Pizzimenti works the rifle butts

"I did look it over carefully. There's nothing there."
"Well, whadya gonna do now?"
"I don't know. Let's give him a maggie."
"How you gonna give him a maggie if he didn't shoot?"
"Sure he shot.  He just missed the target, that's all."
"Please. Let's not take any chances."
"Aw hell, don't be yellow. He missed the target. Let's give him a maggie."
"Whadya gonna do if it's a lieutenant shooting? He'll get sore."
"Yeah -- well he missed the target. The hell with him."
"The hell with him my eye. A lieutenant is a lieutenant."
"You mean to say you can't give a lieutenant a maggie?"
"Not if he didn't shoot, you can't."
"Well, he's shot and he's a lousy shot and I'm gonna give him a maggie."

"Wait a second. Let's find out first. Don't be hasty."
"Take it easy."
"O.K. For your sake. Hey telephone man. Who's shooting on eleven?"
"What did he say?"
"He says no one's shooting."
"He's crazy."
"Well, he ought to know."
"I'll be damned."
"I wish you would."
"The hell with this. We've been working too hard anyway. Hey relief man. Jeez how about a little relief?"

PVT. FELIZ ALBERT           
COMPANY B--                    
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